“My beloved is for me and I am for my beloved” (Ct 2,16)
The experience of the consecration, the decision to make a compromise without understanding everything, without being able to tell the future has been decisive in my life…
The time of “the vows” is very different from the stage of the postulancy and the novitiate, although, the first two years are lived still in the novitiate, accompanied by the Novice’s Mistress
In this time it is begun to live that which we have aspired for much: The consecration.
My consecrated being, to weave threads of intimacy with Jesus, will always be the great mystery of my life. I did my first Profession in the year 2000, in my native land, Poland, in the Carmel that was closest to my family… And thus I initiated my consecrated adventure…
The joy of the first months, was transformed into a discernment of a possible call to the Carmel of Bethlehem. My community had received a request to support in the Holy Land, specifically the Carmel of Bethlehem.
If I have been able to respond to this invitation positively, it has been thanks to the gift of my consecration, to this “strange intimacy” with Jesus who teaches me more and more in depth the inner freedom that has allowed me to create free relations with my family and friends. Also, I asked our confessor who helped me discern, to read and to interpret the signs of God in my life.
My life as a young professed has been in the Holy Land. Here I have learned to live in an international community, to love my sisters as they are, through everything what differentiates us and above all to see this “crazy love of Jesus” who unites us more than everything.
The demands of a small community have helped me to feel responsible for my own formation and my work in community.
The daily solitude and the small trials have made my intimacy with Jesus stronger, my Husband and my All.
The times of war, of human insecurity that I have lived here have printed in me the great desire to pray for and with the Church in the Holy Land, to intercede for the people of this country, to break reciprocal hatred. I have the certainty that my international community attests that love is possible, that it is possible to live, pray, love one another, although we are different and that this is exactly a wealth, a gift from God.
The time of my temporary vows remains in me like a time full of richness and the discovery of Jesus, my capacities and my limitations. A time to discover the different faces of Carmel: the community, the daily liturgy through which God is present in my life, and also the time of work and solitude.
The fact of living far from my family and my country, to live in the Land of the Gospel gives to my consecrated life a delicate characteristic of an adventure lived by Jesus and with Jesus.
It is with a great joy that I made my Profession Solemn, compromising myself definitively to Carmel and the Church of Jerusalem.
Sr Eudoquia of the Cross(Poland)
Carmelite of Bethlehem